Don_Trueno


DEEP DIVESWHAT'S MINECRAFT'S PRETTIEST BLOCK?
谁是 Minecraft 里最美的方块?

A (not so) scientific investigation!
一次(不那么) 科学的调查!


Minecraft now contains almost as many blocks as the Earth does people. But which block is the biggest treat for the eyes? As the prettiest writer in Minecraft.net history (citation needed), I’ve nobly decided to scientifically settle this debate once and for all.
Minecraft 的方块现在快有地球上的人口一般多了。但到底哪一个方块最能赏心悦目呢?作为 Minecraft.net 有史以来最棒的作家[来源请求],我做出了这一崇高的决定,要用一种科学的方式一劳永逸地解决这一问题。

Will we at last resolve which block is the most handsome? Or will we learn a valuable lesson about how it’s what's inside that counts? The first one.
我们能最终弄明白哪一个方块最漂亮吗?还是说我们会最终认识到“内在美才是真的美”这一道理?我们当然是要做到第一条。


CHERRY LEAVES
樱花树叶



Minecraft adds new pink blocks and then suddenly Barbie is one of the biggest films of the year. COINCIDENCE?!?!
Minecraft 里加入了全新的粉色方块,紧接着《芭比》就成了年度最佳电影之一。这样巧合?!

Yes. This lovely leafy block is always blossoming, making it a very strong contender!
而且,这漂亮的树叶方块始终是开花的状态,这让它成为了一名有力的竞争者!

PROS: I constantly misspell this one as "cheery leaves" which makes me smile : )
优势:我总是不小心错误地把它读作“樱花树耶”,这能让我会心一笑 : )

CONS: It also makes me feel stupid. Therefore, it’s disqualified.
劣势:这也让我看起来很呆。所以我要取消它的比赛资格。


DIRT
泥土



Hideous. Appalling. So bad that we’re already regretting the premise of this article.
丑陋的。糟糕的。差到让我们开始怀疑写这篇文章的初衷。

PROS: Well, maybe it’s not THAT bad…
优势:好吧,也许还不至于……

CONS: Scratch that, yes it is.
劣势:去它喵的,太烂了。


GRASS
草方块



The dirt block gets a trendy green haircut and thinks it can win us back. And it’s right!
于是泥土方块去做了个时髦的绿色发型,认为这可以赢回我们的心。事实上它做到了!

PROS: A lovely nature-promoting look that Minecraft’s fields just wouldn’t be the same without.
优势:没有了它,Minecraft 的田野将一下子失去现在的生机。

CONS: Unlikely to stay pretty considering how many people must keep stepping on it.
劣势:有数不清的人在上面踩过之后,很难去想它还能保持怎样的美。


CORAL
珊瑚块



Apparently pouring paint into the oceans to make them more colorful is a bad thing to do. Who knew? Luckily, the magnificent coral block adds a welcome splash of color to even the bleakest body of water.
显然,通过向大海倾倒颜料染色可不是个好主意。谁知道呢?所幸,还有着壮观的珊瑚块能让最荒凉的海域都呈现出一抹绚丽的色彩。

PROS: So much color!
优势:颜色真多!

CONS: Makes the rest of the ocean look drab by comparison. Pretty mean, coral.
劣势:相比之下,其他地方的海域可就失色太多了。珊瑚块,你太坏了。


DEAD CORAL
失活的珊瑚块



We all have a tedious goth cousin who writes "deep" poetry and thinks they invented wearing black. Sadly, the coral block is no exception. I’m feeling older and greyer just looking at it.
我们都有一个乏味的叔叔,他总是写着“深奥”的诗,还自认为发明了黑色衣服的穿法。珊瑚块也未能免俗。只是看着它,就也让我莫名觉得自己也苍老了许多。

PROS: A helpful, if not a little bleak, reminder of why we need to protect our IRL oceans!
优势:它还是能有所帮助的,它惨白的面相正是在警示我们,要保护我们现实中的海洋!

CONS: I can’t see the winner of any beauty contest having the first name "Dead".
劣势:我不想看到选美大赛的优胜者居然姓“失”。


PLANKS
木板



Wood wisely gives itself a great makeover! There’s something about the lines on a good plank block that makes me feel all happy inside. Maybe I need to get out more? No, that can’t be it.
木头也明智的为自己准备了一套换装!看着木板方块上也有着纹路,让我的内心都充满快乐。也许我只要出门走走?不,那显然不可能。

PROS: Proof that developing lines doesn’t make you ugly. Embrace those wrinkles!
优势:这足以证明脸上的纹路并不会让你变丑。向皱纹问好!

CONS: More high-maintenance than normal wood. Relatable.
劣势:和原本普通的木头比太难伺候。这一点我也比较认同。


SOUL SAND
灵魂沙



…Seriously?
……认真?

PROS: It’s several handsome blocks in one!
优势:这可是许多好看方块的集合体!

CONS: Annoying reminder that I sold my soul for five Minecoins a few years back.
劣势:让我想起前些年为了 5 个 Minecoin 币出卖了自己灵魂的不好回忆。


GLOWSTONE
荧石



I’m as big a fan of a glow-up as anyone, but there’s just something about this block that makes my eyes want to retire. Sorry, glowstone!
和很多人一样,我也非常喜欢发光的东西,但这个方块所呈现的一些东西却让我感觉眼睛要退休了。对不住了,荧石!

PROS: Lights up the room…
优势:点亮了整个房间……

CONS: …which means you can see how ugly it is.
劣势:……是为了让你看到它有多丑。


GRAVEL
沙砾



Proving that truly any block is allowed to enter my increasingly mean-spirited little contest. I'm impressed if you're still reading this!
这足以证明任何方块都可以参加我这越来越卑鄙的比赛。很高兴你还能读到这里!

PROS: I actually find this block very pretty
优势:我其实真的觉得这个方块挺好看的

CONS: I’m lying, of course.
劣势:以上是假话,确信。


GLAZED TERRACOTTA
染色带釉陶瓦



Such beauty! Such style! Such six sides of stunning! Glazed? More like gorgeous terracotta, amirite? No, because I would never dare to misname someone so beautiful.
很酷!很炫!六个面都散发着美!只是上釉吗?我更觉得像陶瓦的华丽版本,对吗?当然不对,我可不敢把这样的美丽方块给认错了。

PROS: Seriously, I was on the verge of sending Minecraft to a plastic surgeon before this one showed up.
优势:老实说,在这一方块出来之前,我都有想把 Minecraft 寄给整形科医生看一看的冲动。

CONS: Dirt is everywhere and this block isn’t? Dead game.
劣势:它居然还没泥土出场率高?破游关。



AND THE WINNER IS: GRAVEL!
最终的赢家是:沙砾!



Yes, I really thought glazed terracotta had a chance, but good ol’ gravel reminded me that there’s more to a block than its looks. This sturdy all-rounder has been a stable presence in Minecraft for 14 glorious years and barely looks a day over 13.
我也曾想让染色带釉陶瓦成为第一,但老伙计沙砾让我想起,对一个方块来说“内在美才是真的美”。这一稳重的选手已陪伴 Minecraft 走过了 14 年光辉的岁月,尽管它看起来年轻的像 13 岁一样。







Plus, gravel remembered that I’m a judge who likes being bribed. Anyway, congratulations gravel! Developers, please delete all the other blocks when you see this. Thank you.
再说了,只有沙砾明白我是个喜欢受贿的裁判。总之,祝贺沙砾!开发者们,如果看到这篇文章就请把游戏里其他方块都删了,谢谢!





【氘氚人 译自官网 2023 年 09 月 30 日发布的 Minecraft's prettiest block;原作者 Tom Stone】
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